***Disclaimer: This is MY blog. If you disagree with me here, just keep it to yourself. I don’t want to hear it.***
I recently put 2 and 2 together and realized that the parents of one of Joseph’s many many friends has separated. 🙁 Then, I learned from Joseph that another of his friends’ parents have just divorced. People think NILMDTS must be hard for me, but you know what? I have a harder time hearing about these couples divorcing than I do dealing with my emotions and feelings from a NOW session.
I know, I’m not here to judge, and I shouldn’t be, but it bothers me so much! What is it about people? Why isn’t a committment a committment? Yes, if there is abuse, by all means, get out! But I just don’t see that in either of these cases… either. Could it be hidden, surely and I’ll never say a bad word about or to these folks, but every time I hear about yet another couple separating … couples that *I* know, it hits me hard.
It’s stupid, I know. But it just sucks! Ron and I have had plenty of “moments” whereby one of us dislikes the other considerably. 😀 But we also *believe* in our committment to each other … some might say to the point of fault. But it was a committment!! We made it in front of God and family and friends nearly 13 years ago and we stick to it. Yeah, we were young and people thought it would never last, but I don’t think age has *anything* to do with it. It’s determination and oh, yeah … COMMITTMENT. A belief in that committment.
I guess people just don’t believe in it as strongly as I do. Do I want to ring Ron’s neck sometimes? Yes! Do I want him to go away … fly fly away and never come back? Sometimes. 😀 (Not today though, I am too busy. 😉 — inside joke). Do I sometimes think there is no end to an argument and just want out of the relationship? Nope. There is always a way to work through things … people change, but you have to change too. It’s part of human nature.
We (in the general sense) take advantage those we are most comfortable with and when we forget that I think things go south really quickly. I know I do it. I know Ron does it. But then, we’re “back” together (for lack of a better word) and we’re on the same page again. It can be a roller coaster ride sometimes, but who better to ride the roller coaster with than someone who can savor the highs and get through the lows with you?
Ron thinks I’m weird … he laughed when I got all sad during lunch about it. But too many of my own friends let their marriages just “go”. I hear “We just didn’t love each other anymore.” Well … so says my husband with a big grin and cheeky tone of voice, “our marriage isn’t about love.” 🙄 Yeah, it is. But it’s also about what we said to each other on the alter August 13, 1994 (yikes! we’re getting old :D).
Will I always be disappointed when yet another couple gets divorced? Yes. Though second marriages are a huge thing for wedding photographers. 😉 Maybe I’ll just not offer to photograph any 2nd marriages… my little way of bucking the system? Nah. Not worth it, nor warranted for those who’s 2nd marriage really is “it”. But boy wouldn’t that be a kicker if an entire industry ignored such a HUGE part of our current culture and lifestyle. 🙁
In any case, I know some of my friends that read this blog are divorced. Some a couple times over. I harbor no resentment to you. I simply get hurt when I hear of yet another couple choosing divorce over ‘x, y, or z’ option and since I have an outlet for it, I get to spew forth my righteousness. 🙂
Rant over.
I guess anything I say in the privacy of my own home is subject to being published here. 🙂 What I said makes me look indifferent, but remember that context is everything, and context in a blog is often insufficient.
Not all second marriages come from divorce, so keep those weddings coming so one day I’ll be able to fly fly away whenever you want me to. 😉