I guess I should be happy he made it 3.5 weeks. But, once again, I got a call at work from WAKE COUNTY PUB (or so that’s what my phone said) and I knew it wasn’t going to be good.
Last year it was 7 days. This time it was 18. Progress?
In any case, Joseph decided to tell his teacher that he didn’t feel safe because he was going to kill himself and that he had a knife in his room. Why did the question of safety even arise? I have NO idea. Apparently, he was speaking out of turn and she talked with him and in part of that conversation she told him that one of the things he could do at school was feel safe… and that was his response.
What you have to understand about Joseph is that he answers EVERYTHING negatively. And he picks up on the *best* possible “I can get in trouble and sent out of this room” way of doing it.
What it turns out happened is that he’s NOT happy has to see Ms. Fuller — his reading teacher. He’s so NOT happy about that that he is taking out his frustrations in much the same way he did in 2nd grade — verbally.
So, he’s had a couple days break from Ms. Fuller, but he MUST go back tomorrow. The other thing that he is doing is obsessing over why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Uh … because you are 9? Duh! Apparently though, it’s a “big deal” and it’s in his head that “nobody loves him” so noone ever will.
Oh my goodness! Was I this weird as a 9 year old??!?!?!?!?!?! Don’t answer that.
In any case, by law, this kind of verbal statement has to be recorded and the child talked with. Mr. Green, the school counselor talked with Joseph (and has each day this week) and talked with me (while at work with tears streaming down my face yet again due to this kid) and the assessment is that it’s all talk and no intent, so life is to go on as usual.
Mr Green did suggest that we not get mad at Joseph but somehow start to get him talking. He sees that Joseph is a wonderful kid but his gut inclination is to be negative about “whatever”. He’s right. You can tell Joseph that we’re going to McDonalds and all the sudden he “hates McDonalds” until something else in his brain clicks and he “loves McDs” and off we go. It absolutely NEVER fails that his initial response is negative.
According to Mr Green and a Pediatrician that I unofficially asked, there are some people that are just negative by default, but the more you can calmly and rationally talk with them, the more they start to open up and the root of the problems are found.
So, I have decided that I am going to take the path of patience with my son. I think these things happen, he gets upset, gets in a funk, we yell and ground him and then it just gets worse. This time we’re going to talk. T A L K. And we are going to use patience as the weapon. Let’s see what happens. 😀