Joseph asked for “boxers” when shopping for some clothes at Target. I bought him some — too small, returned those, got new ones, they fit, he likes them, end of story, right? First, they are boxer briefs, not actual boxers. So, they are just longer-than-normal UNDERWEAR!
Wrong.
This morning, he and I had this conversation
J: “Mom, I don’t know if I should wear these boxers to school.”
Me: “Why? They are just underwear.”
J: “But what if everyone else isn’t wearing them?”
Me: “Joseph, how do you know what people are wearing as far as underwear goes? If you don’t want to wear them, then just get regular underwear from the laundry room.”
He threw a fit! A downright, crying fit over underwear. So, that just ticked me off. He said he didn’t know if he should wear them. He might get embarrassed (by what?).
The fit continued, but he changed into regular underwear.
In the car, however, it continued…
Me: “Who do you know that wears boxers?”
J: “This guy at camp told me that everyone is wearing boxers”
Me: “Ok, who said that?”
J: “This guy.”
Me: “Yes, but who? What was his name? How old was he?”
J: “I don’t know. He was just in our cabin.”
Me: “Joseph, you’re going to sit there and tell me, a guy you don’t know, that you met once and will never likely see again, told you you should be wearing boxers and now you’re mad because you can’t decide and think you’ll be embarrassed? WHO [said very loudly] is going to SEE [said very loudly] your underwear?????”
J: “I don’t know.”
So, my parental dilemma here…
1) WHY OH WHY OH WHY is this bothering him?
2) Is this just the beginning of the teen years?
3) How does one guy, at one place, at one point in time influence my son more than Ron or I in years?!?!?!
Ugh!!!
PEER Pressure, of course. He wants to be like the other guys
. I sure did when I was his age. Bet Ron did too.
Michael Jordan wears boxers and briefs. Depends on how he
feels at the time. So, if Joseph feels like boxers, fine,
if he feels like briefs fine. It’s cool either way.
Beginning of the teen years? Probably, so hold on, it’s an
exciting ride.
Try to think back to your early years. Similarities? YES.
Keep being a Mother and all will eventually be well.
Give him a HUG and tell him you love him. Good medicine.
I don’t understand it either. My daughter’s underwear have to be just the right color and style. She doesn’t want to be uncool.
Nothing you say has as much weight as that of a stranger/big kid/popular kid. Nothing. They want to be ‘cool’ so they will do what it takes (or fight you tooth and nail) to be it.
IMHO, I think you made it out to be a big deal by how you addressed this person of influence. It may be important to him and you are not validating how he feels…so he got frustrated with you.