The last few weeks of my 32nd year have stunk!

I’ve dealt with US Air, sickness, sickness and more sickness, not being able to finish my photography class on time, being behind in my photography stuff in general and now work absolutely SUCKS! Tomorrow, I’m going in to have what will invariable be a “last stand” conversation with my boss. My project has been hampered considerably by the fact that one key resource quit and apparently hadn’t done any work for 3 months!

Who am I to question the technical lead on my project? I ask. He told. He lied. I am paying the price. And, on top of that, sales has sold an additional 2-4 more projects (2 of which are actually contracted and on my desk) and there are NO RESOURCES to work on them! None! I cannot manage projects to successful completion when I don’t have the resources required to do so!

I am frustrated to no end with the company for which I work. They leave me absolutely no choice but to want to quit! But, I have a HUGE portion of my salary tied to “successful completion”.

I know what I really want to do. I want my own photography studio. I want (and know) that I can make it work. But I can’t just up and leave my corporate salary and benefits to try to get a photography studio going… no income means no food, no new clothes for my ever growing kids, etc. etc.

Wake County is the 10th fastest growing county in the NATION! I know it’s the market to be in for a small business. Anyone know anyone with $100k sitting around doin’ nothing? Perhaps they’d like to waste it on me. 🙂 I don’t want to take out loans… that’s just a bad idea. I don’t want to stop working and jump right in… got a lifestyle to maintain. But I cannot stand the corporate environment that even a small 25 person company creates.

I want smaller. I want me (‘cuz I’m gonna be the boss of course!) and Ron as my IT guy and a high schooler/college age person as an assitant. I want a studio with a north facing window, about 1200 square feet with 4 “bays” for photography. I need two 20ft walls with 20 ft between each and I’ve had it made. I know *exactly* what I want in it. I have a design in my head and  shopping center being built around the corner from my house.

Ugh! If only I was just a stay at home mom and didn’t *need* the money… like so many women photographers are. But for us, we count on that and I don’t want to do it anymore! I want my own thing! Here’s to year 33! Let’s hope it starts off better and I can figure out a way to make this happen! 🙂