Today has probably been the longest and hardest day of my life. But in order to full understand its impact, we have to take a step back to last week.
On Wednesday, I received a call from a woman in Massachusettes. She indicated to me that an online friend of hers was to have a “compassionate birth” at UNC-Chapel Hill Medical Center on Monday, February 19th at 9:00 am. She said that she herself had a compassionate birth and she hired a photographer for her baby’s first and only portaits and wanted to find someone to do this for her friend. She reminded me several times that she’s never met her friend, but she had her phone number and wondered if I would be willing to speak with her.
So that same day, I called the mom-to-be, who lives in Rocky Mount, but was having the compassionate birth at UNC, and we discussed NILMDTS, what it offers, what I can do and what we should plan for on Monday. I indicated that I had a speaking engagement Monday night, so I would try to have a backup available after 6pm, otherwise, I would be there when they were ready.
Fast forward to today. 9am. 10am. 11am and no phone call. I was worried, more than anything, that things were moving slower than normal and I wouldn’t be able to go. But petrified at the same time if that were to happen as none of the other 5 photographers on the list had responded to my plea for help. Gotta love the 80/20 rule. 🙁
In any case, I proceeded with my day and during lunch with the girls and Ron — about 12:45pm they called and asked that I come. It took me an hour to get there, another 30 minutes before baby David was brought to his mom and Dad and another hour ish of crying and shooting, crying and shooting.
This was an incredibly emotional session. Baby David was never expected to live beyond birth. But he was breathing on his own – just a little, not enough to sustain life for long though. He was initially on a respirator and then they took him off. Because this was a compassionate birth (meaning they make it the least traumatizing to all parties involved and everyone knows when it is going to happen and the hospital and staff are all aware of the situation) the entire family was present. The room was, at one point, FULL of family members, of course ALL were in tears, which didn’t help me at all.
And, of course, I know NONE of these people. And yet, they’d come up to me and give ME hugs and thank me for coming to photograph their Grandson/Nephew/Son. We all (including me) gave Mom and Dad and Big Brother some space for a few mintues and that’s when I lost it the most because I wasn’t focusing on the photography, but had time to think.
After the brief time apart, I continued the photography in my typical style, ensuring all parties were with baby David, in some photograph, at some point until we were all just about spent with emotion. I know I was. My head was pounding.
Baby David’s heart was still beating when I departed.
After the session at UNC, I headed out to test out my slideshow and presentation for the talk I was giving about … of all topics, NILMDTS.
Dinner was at Ten Ten — a huge Chinese Buffet, but my head was pounding, my eyes hurt so bad from the days’ events that I didn’t have much of an appetite. As the guest speaker, I was a part of nearly every conversation and held my throughout it. My “big guns” was with me — Marie a nurse from Duke who I have worked with at nearly every NILMDTS session for Duke. She was a WONDERFUL asset and a brilliant “tool” to promote the cause.
The presentation was WONDERFUL. I was given high praise, not only for DOING, but for telling other photographers about it and for sharing in such a way that they could consider becoming members too. The presentation itself lasted about an hour … maybe a little more. Afterward I was given lots of pats on the back, lots of hugs and lots of praises too. It felt great to speak, but my emotions were raw from the day … probably playing well into my overall discussion.
I got home and literally crashed. I could barely hold my head up or keep my eyes open. It was only 10 ish pm, but it felt like 3am and I was spent physically and emotionally.
Joseph tucked me in and that was it for me for the day.